3 Mistakes that Make You Feel Unsuccessful
How will you judge today?
Each day we are confronted with almost infinite possibilities. Our days, or weeks and even our life unfolds in a different way depending on decisions. You may disagree with me on this point but most people you meet don’t have a method to judge whether or not their day was successful.
Can there be any wonder why so many people never feel truly successful?
Here are three things you can do to instantly feel more successful;
Stop comparing yourself to others; In his book Status Anxiety Alain De Botton exposes one of the main sources of anxiety and a constant feeling that “I am not good enough” is due to our feeling of relatedness to others. He pointed out that if we compare our self to the queen we could easily feel disheartened as she is seemingly more “successful” however we don’t! On the other hand if we were to go to a school reunion where everyone at our school had excelled we could come away feeling like a failure. Why? Because we see ourselves as equal to our school mates and we would compare their apparent success (*) to ours.
Try to be successful at less stuff; The philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau puts forward the thought that the feeling of success is characterised by the total number of things we want to be successful at divided by the total number of things we currently feel we are successful at. Rousseau says that we can either get more successful at more of the things we want to be successful in or we can simply cross a few things off the list of things we are going after, both will make us feel more successful. In modern western society it seems that the only option here is to get more successful at the things we want, but is this the best way forward? How many things should we allow ourselves to want to be successful in? Can we chase infinite goals? I’ll let you decide.
Don’t tick off to-do lists; A lot of people I have coached over the years feel like they have “smashed it!” when they have ticked off their to-do list, only to discover the things on their to-do list were a list of other peoples priorities and distractions and were taking them in the opposite direction for what they truly wanted. Make sure your daily lists are a prioritized list of OUTCOMES that become causes for what you want to achieve long term.
You have huge potential to carve out your own path and to create your own version of success. The feeling you get, or the internal experience of success is really the only thing that can be seen as a motivator. Therefore don’t accept other peoples version. How rich and colourful the world would be if everyone just became the person that they, and only they, truly wanted to be.
At Storm we are only interested in creating the success that you want and our approach is completely individual to that. You can reach us on email@example.com
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